Wednesday, December 31, 2008

St. Jimmy

OK, since no one reads this, and if you do, please try to understand, this is my first post in well over 6 months, I have a lot on my plate, and this is really just where I come to vent, and write down my thoughts, I really don't have any sense of direction, and my thought process is a "write as I think" process, so bear with me...

OK, here goes


OK, so maybe that was a little bland, unimaginative, and maybe a little cliche, but you know what, its 2 in the morning, and I cant yell or my dad will wake up, so shut your mouth Mr. imaginary reader.  

Let me list all the things wrong with my life right now, and trust me, I may be a pessimist, but I know what’s bad when I see it, and this stuff is "fo real" 

(In no intended order of importance)

My friends, being the smart, reasonable, clear thinking, honest, chivalrous, kind, compassionate, loving, appreciative, glowing people they are,  aren't.  What's that? You don’t understand? Well, pull up a chair, because this is teenage life for dummies

Chapter one,  YOU

Think about yourself, in one word, describe yourself...

Done yet? No? Keep thinking...

Done yet? Yes, GOOD, please tell me all about it, bring coffee, beer, a five hour energy, whatever floats your is how I describe me, in one word...


Now, some scalawags might say that is a little ego maniacal, or even as far as narcissistic, but think about it,  I am unique, smart, I laugh at all of my jokes, so I must be a witty guy, I can stare in a mirror for hours, so I must be attractive, and I never notice any bad smell, so I must be Fabreeze, right? Right.  See the thing is, you may call me a narcissist, or maybe just a little bit too self involved, or immature, or a brat, or petulant, or just Mike (though if you call me just Mike, I will be unhappy), but to me, I am the best thing since sliced bread, this is mostly in due part to the fact that, I am me, and I like me, I am the best thing to happen to me since, since ever, I never argue with me, I never disagree with me, and hey, me and me, we always wear the same clothes, I mean what's not to like?

Other people however...whole different story. Now I am not saying that they are a bad thing, because frankly, they are people, just like me, so they are free to have they're own desires, wants, hopes, dreams... BUT, and this is a big but, if they are my "friends" then I would hope that I can expect a few things, and I hope I don't sound needy, or overbearing, but really, I would like to see some more love. no really. being me is just as, if not more, difficult than being you, why? because people think I am smart. now, if you think you are smart, then you will probably know what it feels like, if not, let me tell you how it feels..
I like to be right, hell, it turns me on, really, I just thought of a time I was right, and now, I have a boner, really, so you wanna know what? I hate to be wrong, why? Because it is not right, sooooo I make every effort to be right, now, i am not talking about getting 100% on tests, or even being on the honor roll, because really, I don't give a rats ass about that bullshit, I care about people, and you wanna know something, I don't think my "friends" do the same, I think that right now, they are too wrapped up in parties and invitations to even realize who I am, and you wanna know something, that feels like a kick in the gut..

How would you feel, if you felt that, if your whole family just picked up and moved away, that your friends wouldn't even blink, wouldn't even care, wouldn't even notice? I know, feels bad eh? Well guess what, thats how I feel, now, since I know you are not reading this, "friend", start being one, you see that phone? call me, you see that computer, I have a Facebook, message me, take initiative, please, make me feel wanted, make me feel like you actually want to be my friend, I don't want to have to be that "knight in shining armor" who calls you up and asks if you are busy, really, as much as I do it, it is a life of sad, hateful contempt, I hate having to be the only one I know who has the initiative to plan an event, to be the only one who can arrange a day to just "hang out" I want to be the one who, at one in the morning can get a call, begging me to hang out, I want someone, who just once, shows me that yes, they do care, I want you, and you, and hey even you to get up, say hi, say thanks when I do something nice, because it is a thought action, it is planned, it is something I do on purpose, just to be nice, and I don’t dare pretend that I am a nice person, I am not, so when I do something that is kind, you better know it is for a reason, I am the meanest damn fuck I know, but I am nice (I think) to my “friends”, I hold the door, I give them advice, I listen when they cry to me, I celebrate with them when they do something great, I just wish they would do the same...

Some friends I have...

If you still haven’t gotten me a Christmas present, call me, lets have a day together, you can just tie a bow on yourself and give me a hug for a present, because right now, thats all I want.

Monday, June 30, 2008


Now before you ask, no I am not dead(but from the heat, you could argue otherwise); I have been on a "vacation" of sorts, not that it was entirely relaxing

I went to Victoria, specifically CFB Belmont Park, and let me tell you a few things about it:

  • there is a CANEX, this means that there is always good, cheap junk-food a minute away.
  • there is fast food restaurants EVERYWHERE
  • OMG T3H COUG4Z WIL GET U(In english: my friend Chris is scared of NOCTURNAL animals and wont let me out of the house past 6 p.m.
So you can see that I might have a fun, if a little strange, holiday

We also saw "You Don't Mess With the Zohan", it was a very funny movie, go watch it, now, i'll wait.

You back? Good, did you like it? You did? Good

I also had mini melts, these are REALLY COLD bits of ice cream, they are good

(and no, this Green Day article title was not intentional, I wrote it THEN realized it was a song, and no, i don't care.)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

She's a Rebel

Why is it that people love being so rebellious?  Now I'm not saying that we should all conform into one boring state of submissive monotony, but really, is it so difficult to simply DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD?

Is it really that important, that you have to wank your ego off so fervently by acting all macho tough rebel that you come off as a immature prick machismo dweeb?  I think that we all need a slap in the face, for our own good, from the mighty hand of humility

Sunday, June 8, 2008

welcome to paradise

Have you ever wondered what my idea of paradise is?  Obviously not, to this date, no one has asked me what makes me happy, and I'm thankful. Ask yourself what make YOU happy.  There are many things that makes people happy, some get off on others suffering, some on bringing love into others lives, spreading cheer like a contagious bug, others seem to pull happiness from the air, these people can sometimes do it to such an extent that they are always so ecstatic, that it drives those sharing space wit them over the edge of reason and into a state of feral "shut the hell up" rage...

What? haven't you ever gotten a teensy little bit irritated when buddy just is riding rainbows, and seems to think everyone else, by default, also is?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Oh Crank Caller, Where art thou?

things that can liven up any party after it has reached and past it's prime:

Chocolate milk - yes it is that good old standard, for when the bottle runs dry and you can't raid your buddy's fridge anymore('cause at 0300h the only thing open is 7/11 and the only thing your stomach will handle at the moment is the delicious, delectable taste of the divine chocolate bliss.)

7/11 - yes that convenience store down the street is just the thing your tired and passed out friends need, it's like the loving mother that will always be there for you, no matter how much you screwed up(plus if you are epic enough you might score yourself a nice 1/2 off slurpee from the nice cashier named jack.)

Jolt - the famous or as my mother would argue infamous energy drink, because as we all know, teens have don't have enough energy as is.

Random 16 Year Old Crank Caller - this is the juggernaut, the "deus ex machina" of parties, she can wake you up simply by random selection of your phone number out of the sea of millions, and with simply the sound of her female voice those hormones now resting comfortably in your brain will burst into life and Bam! party starts all over again(there are only 3 things that can do that: CHUCK NORRIS, women, and an all-nite pizza delivery service.)

do you really want to know?

There is a perfectly good reason for this, I just need to find out what it is...

howzabout i just leave it with that and pull a Nintendo?

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Popping the metaphorical "Cherry"

So here it is, did you find what you expected? The hollow thoughts of me, your beloved and (in)famous host.  I don't know what to write, only that I have something to say, and I think this is the best way to say it; I do not know what I am going to say, my thoughts are often so depraved that I hope this blog can simply remain private to me, and on the off chance one of my few and fetching friends, they are already aware of the concept driving my ideas, and as such do not care, but i'm must digress, i don't think my friends are (god bless their souls) altogether literate.  So I guess that brings me to the big question: Why start a blog?  If i don not want people to read my posts, why not keep a diary?  Counterpoint: I guess some part of me wants to be heard, instead of simply being shunned by the shadows of society. So if you do find me, and you don't feel so humiliated by looking at my personal ideals, perhaps you can share with me why and HOW you found my enclave of lies and deceit?