Monday, November 2, 2009

Murder City



First off, let me get this off my chest, I haven't written in a while; its mostly because i'm lazy, but really, its because i haven't had any shit storms to write about lately, however, I have one matter that is very important to make, and I believe that it is of the utmost importance that I talk about this issue, as it is mounting against us as a society, and could one day topple the very fabric of what we call the upper middle class- this issue: FUCKING CHIHUAHUAS


I fucking hate the little fuckers with their yip yipitty yipping FUCK!

They fucking yip, and that is the only word for it, YIP it is fucking infuriating, they just go on and on and on until my fingers get sore and no longer want to write and on and on and ON; and thats not even the worst part, not even close, thats just a step below the little BEOTCHs that carry them around in their little fucking purses and fucking fucking,fucking carry them in there (fuck, I'm redundant) (back on track) little bags like they are so fucking Cute, they are NOT, they are fucking useless little rat dog- things, which serve no purpose but for one, one great purpose: Punting


Punting is as follows

punt |pənt| |pʌnt|

verb

[ trans. ]to kick (the dog) after it is dropped from the hands and before it reaches the ground


This is the only recommended course of action in dealing with chihuahuas, a swift kick. Better yet, i propose the introduction of a new sport, perhaps maybe even to fill the now vacant spot on TSN!


CHIHUAHUA PUNTING: similar to Fable: The Lost Chapters' Chicken kick'n, teams would assemble into teams, and aim to kick their punt onto a board, their accuracy, and distance of kick would affect their score, with perhaps some bonus's suck as decapitations or continued streaks of successful punt kills!


Now, I understand that this may raise some animal rights issues with dog owners, as well as PETA, however, it is my belief that with a successful ad campaign, we can see a chihuahua punting league as early as next year! (mostly due in to that fact that nobody likes PETA)



But wait! Mike!? why do you hate chihuahuas?

They are small irritating and vile, they shit everywhere, women think they are grotesquely cute, and i hate them for it... also an incident in which one pissed on my shoes...



NEXT TOPIC!: twilight, Stephanie Meyer, and the demon Succubus Anne Rice

3 comments:

kaytee94 said...

Perfect... I totally agree. I'll be one of the first to join the sports team. :)

tony said...

ya i would be on that like a fagon a latex sale

tony said...

we should rant together